Scattered Thoughts

I realized a few minutes ago that I should have been blogging a little bit over the last few days. I'm unsure if anyone reads this thing anymore, but, nonetheless, it is good for me to spill out the thousands of thoughts that fill my mind simultaneously on most days. At this point, I am still unemployed and rent is due tomorrow--scary thought. I have only one significant lead right now in terms of a job and its been two days without a call back.
In the end, I have been struggling significantly with the cognitive dissonance that I absolutely know God is in control, but I don't live or trust with that truth changing the way I do life. I am still figuring out how to die to self on a daily basis so that these mere things--jobs, rent, bills--do not shake me the way they do.
On another note, I am trying to find a church that will become a vital part of my life over the next few years. Even if I don't stay at one church the whole time, I still need to be a part of a church with that kind've mentality. God does not call us to "date the church" as Joshua Harris so eloquently puts it. I have learned that he is actually right on this one. I hope he doesn't write a sequel called "I gave dating a chance" this time and confuse everyone even more.
Anyway, I'm struggling right now and I'm starting to realize that it's okay to struggle sometimes. It might just be healthy.

New Start

Many things carry over into this new chapter of my life, yet so many things are new. New zip code: 28226. New Roads: Carmel, Fairview, Pineville-Matthews. New city: Charlotte, NC. New school: RTS.
Old roads: Hwy 74 and 29--roads I've lived near my whole life. Old roommate: Chris. Old rival: Erskine.

Some things will never change in life--my own inadequacies and God's sustaining favor on me, a sinner. Some things are bound to change. We move, we die a little bit and grow a little bit. Some people continue to stay a part of my life and, in the end, I'm glad of it.

Now if I could only figure out where I left my other shoe.